Category: Out there

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June the Hitchhiking Mannnequin

An old friend visited yesterday. Said his dad reads memepool and had forwarded him a link he had found there, to the story of June the Hitchhiking Mannequin. My friend recognized the domain – birdhouse. This is one of the oldest pieces on birdhouse classic – originally posted in Summer 1995. And memepool is just finding it now? Sometimes I almost forget about all the content sitting around on the original incarnation of birdhouse, unpruned but not unloved.

Music: Mission of Burma :: Einstein’s Day
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Quietly Ovulating

The annual Lyttle Lytton contest challenges writers to come up with the worst possible opening line to a novel — a challenge which generally results in tons of run-on sentences being submitted. This year, the sponsors decided to limit entries to 25 words or less — preferably less. The 2004 winners have been posted. The winner, however:

This is the story of your mom’s life.

Was, in my opinion, not nearly as funny as the example given in the contest rules:

Jennifer stood there, quietly ovulating.

A line which quite literally caused me to spew milk and cereal from the nose this morning.

Music: Ralph Carney :: Out Of The Bag #2
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Spam King Clothing

In news almost too post-modern to digest, Scott Richter, the Internet’s third-busiest spammer, has decided that his spammy brand has become recognizable enough to be marketable in its own right. To capitalize, he’s launching a line of SpamKing clothing — initially shirts, hats, and panties bearing phrases such as “Just opt out” and “Click it.” You can take a wild flying guess how he’ll be promoting the line. Adding an additional layer to the strangeness, Richter is not generally referred to as “The Spam King” — that honor usually goes either to Bill Waggoner or Alan Ralsky, or, going farther back, Sanford Wallace. So he’s apparently usurping the title from his fellow spammers.

Music: Avenue Q Soundtrack :: Schadenfreude
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Songs for the 21st Century

As if it weren’t enough to have written the theme song to Superchicken (“You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred”), Sheldon Allman also wrote the theme songs to George of the Jungle and Tom Slick, all in the same afternoon at Jay Ward Studios. He also wrote the theme music for Let’s Make a Deal, and was the voice of Mr. Ed the Talking Horse. Sometime in the late 50s, Allman released an album of songs he thought might be appropriate for modern living in the 21st century, all sung in an overly sincere baritone and accompanied by Spanish pop guitar. Apparently, Allman thought we would be dating humanoid androids, doing a lot of math, dealing with schizophrenia, and crawling out from under space junk by now. The MP3s will be taken down April 30th – get ’em while they’re still irrelevant.

We met once as I recall
I gave her my close attention
When she came walking through my wall
She’s the girl from the fourth dimension
One kiss and my toes were curled.

Thanks mneptok

Music: Sheldon Allman :: Univac and the Humanoid
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Air Raid

A happening today at Berkeley… the monthly emergency preparedness sirens went off at noon on the first Wednesday of the month, as usual. And just as they did, a caterwaul arose, huger and more textured than the sirens, nearly but not quite drowning them out. People came out of their offices and into the courtyard, and looked up to the dorms across the street. There, atop a roof six stories above the ground, were four students with guitars and Marshall stacks, plugged in and improvising a wall of sound to interplay with the sirens. A free concert of artfully tweaked distortion and dada rock and roll improv. Should have AudBlogged it.

Music: Black Cat Orchestra :: Introit from Requiem
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Nous N’Avons Pas Vote Pour Lui

bagtagcbrown bought a bag for his computer and did a double-take when he read the wash and care instructions, in both English and French. After the banal “Do not machine wash, do not iron” were three extra lines in French, which translate as:

“We are sorry that our President is an idiot. We didn’t vote for him.”

Music: Robert Wyatt :: Speechless
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A Sign From God

Caught this on the way home from work tonight — a reverend in El Cerrito apparently has a political bent and a sense of humor:

rumsfeld_churchsign

Sounds approximately up my alley – may just try and attend the sermon this weekend.

Music: Sun Ra and His Arkestra :: Jazz And Romantic Sounds
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Ukulele Freakshow

Good piece summarizing the details of the new CAN-SPAM legislation … Jeff Bridges’ web site is all analog … Amazing (scary!) Dutch dolls … Stupid computer error messages … Ukulele freakshow … The truth about Stonehenge … Mindblowing Flash game – set aside half an hour when ready to slow down, sink in… What is moving, what is not? … Philosophers hate vagueness … The cardinal sins of blogging … The Pledge of Allegiance was written by a socialist … Why the FBI loves Macs … Tatooed baby dolls … Pepsi bottlecap liner leak vulnerability …

Music: Herbie Hancock :: The Prisoner
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God Hates Shrimp

As it turns out, God Hates Shrimp (and all non-scaly denizens of the sea, apparently). Although that’s just the old testament talking, so nevermind. Actually, it turns out that God Hates Shrimp is a parody (but with gen-you-ine Bible quotes!) of real “God Hates Sodomites” protestors. Not so funny: Rhea County, Tennessee initiated a legal attempt to ban homosexuals from living in their county (that decision has since been rescinded; interestingly, CNN kept the original URL but rewrote the story and replaced the headline without making note of any change – always tempting in web publishing, but editorially weak IMO). Long story short, if you ever need a church sign, you can synthesize one in about two seconds. Or, if you prefer, graze through the amazing gallery of real-world church signs.

Music: The Specials :: Do Nothing