Me: “Miles, why are we having so much trouble with dinner tonight?”
Miles: “Because I’m relunctable.”
Me: “Do you mean reluctant?”
Miles: “Yes Daddy, I’m relunctable because I don’t want to eat any.”
Music: Robert Wyatt :: Born Again Cretin
Helium Hat Revisited
Back in February, I was on the lookout for an original Mark V mixed gas hard hat diver’s helmet for Dad’s 70th birthday, but had been quickly priced out of the market. Eventually Dad decided he’d be OK with a replica, and we went for it. This weekend celebrated by sliding the helmet over his head, swinging open the porthole and making him blow out his candles from within the hat. He went straight to brother’s pool to christen it, a kid in a candy store.
That’s me in the hat above — more at Flickr.
Music: Talking Heads :: A Clean Break (Let’s Work)
Over the Wall
When we started Miles at the local preschool last year, I had a glimmer of worry that he’d be able to scale the 4-ft. Cyclone fence that encircles the compound playground — he was already starting to climb fences at that time, and it just looked too danged tempting. The school assured us that this had never happened, and not to worry. Today a parent (it’s a co-op) came through the gate holding M under her arm, saying she found him on the sidewalk out by the street. Much wringing of hands ensued. It wasn’t clear from his story whether he climbed the fence itself or a nearby tree, then dropped down to the other side of the fence. Either way, Miles lost some climbing privs, and teachers have been put on high alert. I’m thinking an electronic ankle bracelet — or even an embedded RFID tag — might not be out of the question. Pictured: Protoceratops ops; Tinker Toys as 2-D media.
Music: Apollo 440 :: Carrera Rapida
Chairs, Sculptures, and Brains
Reason #216 why having a three-yr-old around guarantees you’ll never be bored: Excellent Jokes.
Me: “Miles, will you tell me a joke?”
Miles: “I know an orangutan who likes to eat chairs, sculptures, and brains! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!”
Miles’ Cosmology
Had never heard Miles say the words “universe,” “glacier,” or “evaporate,” but one night he just broke into this whole cosmological tale (QuickTime) about the sun, rain, and the water cycle, with an enigmatic tie-in to the universe itself. Since he has a few pronunciation issues, transcription provided:
When the universe goes into the rain, the clouds come dark and rainy, and they start to rain, then when universe drops into the air, it evaporates into the air, then the water cycle evaporates into the air, just like the sun, then the sun goes away and turns into dark clouds and it starts to rain again, then the iceberg evaporates into the sun and the sun goes into the universe and the universe puffs the sun out of its tummy then all the other universes cling to all the other universes and that’s the story!
About a month ago, an old Doors song came on the radio, and suddenly I heard Miles in the background doing this Jim Morrisson impression.
Magical Realism
Apparently I have a second wife, about which I knew nothing until the other night. Miles, describing his day over dinner:
This is mommy’s restaurant with the hot dogs and I was walking down the street with my gorilla on a leash so he doesn’t get away and an idea popped right into my head for the gorilla to eat upstairs and play with toys while I eat downstairs [we don’t have an upstairs] and eat food. No gorillas allowed in the pet store because there’s only people allowed. I saw a bee on the way and it was buzzing around honey and drinking nectar. Because you’re not allowed to get food on the toys. No, it wasn’t mommy’s restaurant, it was the Bay Bridge Restaurant [there is no such restaurant] a long long way away and I had to drive a car there, up a hill and down a hill and I put the gorilla in the front seat, and I have one daddy and two mommies, that’s three parents, and my other mommy’s name is Catherine Henry Frank.
The life of imagination of a three-year-old is so rich, and so many characters from his books and movies become part of our daily life, as if they actually exist (though the gorilla/restaurant story did not seem to be based on anything he’s read/consumed — totally improvised). I sometimes wonder if he distinguishes between reality and fiction at all. It’s a blessed state.
Music: Iron & Wine :: Teeth in the Grass
The Myth of Disarray
We’re at it again — this time ripping out the small “ship’s head” bathroom to replace sub-floor and joists. Years of water damage (thanks previous owner!) have finally caught up with the house. But happy to say that for this round, we’re paying for the work rather than doing it ourselves (thanks home equity line!). Last summer’s remodel of the main bathroom dragged on for six months, squeezing tasks into spare hours here and there – will be great to have this whole thing done in a few weeks.
Speaking of disarray, just listening to a radio pundit (missed the name) commenting on the usual bromides about how the Democratic party is in disarray, and thought he made a really good point: The semantic loop-de-loop is in the definition of “array”: The normal state of any political party is to have an array of viewpoints, with some loose unification. We don’t say that major league baseball is in disarray just because some teams are winning and others losing. An array of competing views represents health for a system, just like bio-diversity represents the health of an ecosystem. You could say that any political system is in disarray, when what you really mean is that its members aren’t robotically aligned on every point.
Somehow, the myth of disarray doesn’t quite map onto the situation in our small bathroom.
Music: Tom Tom Club :: Lorelei
Chickenfat, Reprise
Over dinner last night, Miles started singing — a familiar refrain, but not one I’ve heard from him before:
Push up! / 10 times! / Every morning. / Not just. Now and then… Give that chickenfat back to the chickens, and don’t be chicken again…!
Could not believe my ears. Thought the song was lost to the 70s, but nope — apparently his preschool teachers have the same great memory of it that many of us do, and have decided to use it as an intro-level exercise song (I don’t recall hearing it until 4th grade). The three of us ran into the office, cranked the MP3 version, and did jumping jacks together right in the middle of dinner.
Ironically, we were having chicken that night.
Music: Cat Power :: Living Proof
Critical Rituals
A few days ago, Miles climbed into the car head-first, noggin down where feet are supposed to go, feet kicking in the air. Maybe you had to be there, but it was pretty comical. We made the mistake of laughing our heads off, so now he has to do it every time he gets into the car. Today we were in a rush to get somewhere and didn’t let him hang out upside down before we left. He cried half the way to our destination. Amazing, the rituals that are of critical importance to kids.
Music: Laika :: Coming Down Glass
Picture Theory
Woke up to Amy and Miles having a disagreement. Not the usual kind of disagreement parents have with three-year-olds, like “I don’t WANT to brush my teeth!” or “I don’t LIKE that kind of Cheerios!” This disagreement was of a different order:
Amy: “And this one is a Troodon.”
Miles: “No mommy, that’s a Gallimimus.”
Amy: “But the book says right here that it’s a Troodon.”
Miles: “Well, mommy, I think the author made a misSTAKE, because I know what is a Gallimumus like at the Lawrence Hall of Science and that is a Gallimumus.”
Miles has memorized so many kinds of dinosaurs / dogs / monkies / planets / trains, etc. it makes my head spin. But what really fascinates me about these kinds of conversations is the fact that he’s done so without being able to read. Whereas an adult will trust almost without question what’s written on the page to describe a thing, he relies entirely on the picture. So for him, it’s confusing when we rely on the printed word if that word doesn’t match his picture universe.
From Wittgenstein’s Picture Theory:
2.1 We picture fact to ourselves.
2.11 A picture presents a situation in logical space, the existence and non-existence of states of affairs.
2.12 A picture is a model of reality.
2.16 If a fact is to be a picture, it must have something in common with what it depicts.
2.18 What any picture, of whatever form, must have in common with reality, in order to depict it—-correctly or incorrectly—-in any way at all, is logical form, i.e. the form of reality.