Web Design Horror Stories

Resurrected from archives of yore: Web Design Horror Stories from circa dot-com-boom times. Mostly a chronicle of painful developer/client interactions, e.g.

early club design client:
“more fonts. use more fonts!”
“ummm… how many do you want?”
“how many do you have?”

Interesting how many designers are balking/laughing at clients’ requesting things deemed impossible or incredibly difficult at the time, which are now easy or commonplace. Seems like a lot of the frustration comes from geeks having already become web-comfortable, with sales and marketing types struggling to replicate print and TV experiences online.

The best one that I ever heard from a potential client: “You know that game Sim City? Can you make my web site do that?”

Music: Mission of Burma :: Is This Where?

Poop for the Circus

At a playground under the BART tracks, Amy and Miles came across dozens of pieces of honeycomb and hundreds of dead bees, a beehive fallen from high above (apparently after having been sprayed). Amy was marveling at how perfect the hexagons were, such a feat of nature.

Miles: “These bees are so talented, they could make honeycomb for the circus. [Pause]. If they weren’t so dead.”

Lately Miles has been announcing that his poop looks like various letters of the alphabet. Last night he yelled from the bathroom “I made the letter T!” Amy asked him if he thought he could poop his way through the whole alphabet.

Miles bragged: “I’m such a talented pooper, I could poop for the circus!”

Music: Mission of Burma :: The Mute Speaks Out

AOR RIP

While you were busy not paying attention, the world changed: “Buyers of digital music are purchasing singles over albums by a margin of 19 to 1.” That stat could be a smidge misleading, since an album may consist of, say, 12 songs, and only get counted as a single purchase, but still, “Individual songs account for roughly two-thirds of all music sales volume in the United States.”

We all know that the theory was that digital downloads would let people only purchase the songs they liked, rather than the entire album, but I had no idea the tide had shifted this far already. Me, I’ve bought exactly one single from iTMS in the past few years – a track from Don’t Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me The Pliers, which I needed for a performance piece we were prepping for a friend’s wedding.
Continue reading “AOR RIP”

Tears in Zero G

After the space shuttle Columbia burned up in the atmosphere, all media was focused on the loss. We barely heard about the three astronauts stranded on the International Space Station, who not only lost seven close friends in the disaster, but also their ride home.

… without gravity, your tears don’t fall, so these great shimmering pools of water filled his eyes and he’d have to knock them away and his tears are all around him in the weightlessness … and then immediately thereafter they begin to realize, “Well, I guess we’ve lost our ride home.”

Facing the prospect of spending two years aboard the station, they ultimately went home aboard a 40-year-old Russian Soyuz pod, which was strapped to the outside of the ISS like a lifeboat. After a harrowing voyage in which rockets misfired by half a second, throwing them hundreds of miles off course, they landed in the deep tundra of Kazhakstan (home of Borat!). Presumed dead and lost by the rest of humanity, they had hours to meditate and rejoice in the green grass of planet earth before being discovered.

The fascinating story is told by Christopher Jones, NASA’s Director for Solar System Exploration, to Moira Gunn for Tech Nation. The bit about levitating tears is about 10’30” in.

Music: Momus :: Mai Noda

Planet Earth

Discovery’s Planet Earth series is so beautiful, I think it make my head a-splode. Just speechless. One second of footage of an orca striking a seal, blown out in time on high-speed cam to 47 seconds, like nothing you’ve ever seen. Birds of Paradise dancing so surreal they can’t be from this planet. Hyenas tracking impalas with a group intelligence like ESP. Throw away everything you thought you knew about nature programming. This raises the bar so high…

Music: Moondog :: No. 19 – Maybe

Writing in the Free World

Jonathan Letham, author of the amazing Fortress of Solitude (one of very few novels I’ve read in the past decade), has come up with an interesting mechanism for handling the film rights to his latest book. Rights will go to the filmmaker who presents the best proposal. That person will pay Lethem two percent of the film’s budget, and will allow the rights to the novel to return to the public domain after five years.

It’s an arrangement that strikes a balance between guaranteeing some income for the content creator while simultaneously steering clear of the usual Disney-fied 75-year copyright stranglehold. The work becomes at once a vehicle for profit and a brick in the public conversation. “It’s based on the recognition that all works of art are, in a sense, a collaboration between artists and the culture at large.”

What Lethem is recognizing here is that the copyright debate doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing, that there’s a huge middle ground that can satisfy everyone.

It becomes one of those issues like, “If you don’t favor wiretapping in the U.S., you must be for the terrorists.” What I’m seeking to explore is that incredibly fertile middle ground where people control some rights and gain meaningful benefits from those controls, and yet contribute to a healthy public domain and systematically relinquish, or have relinquished for them, meaningless controls on culture that impoverish the public domain.

Some good riffing on how Led Zeppelin takes an uncopyrighted foundation (the blues), adds to it, and slaps copyright on it. Same for Brian Eno / David Byrne with their audio montage stuff. Taking it farther, if the blues was a patented form, Zep could never have existed. Loved these quotes:

“…participating in culture by making stuff is inherently a gift transaction and a commodity transaction.”

“If you make stuff, it is not yours to command its destiny in the world.”

Licensing models like Lethem’s don’t help for the 99% of artists who never see the light of day. But I like to hope that creative approaches to licensing like this one will become more common as artists acknowledge that what they do both borrows from and adds to the public dialog, and that all media needs to be quotable / reusable.

Music: Maline :: Lay Down

Rocket to Mars

Miles and I made a rocketship a few weekends ago. It was all his idea – he saw a pile of cardboard on the curb and said “Daddy let’s make a rocket!” Outta nowhere. Lots of cutting and taping and gluing and painting (yes, much of the paint ended up on his legs and on the deck). Had to go online to remind myself how to make a cone (just cut out 1/4 pie from a disc and it’ll curve up nicely). A brave knight’s helmet will service in a pinch as a space helmet. Great weekend project. Of course it’s been sitting in the garage since that day…. but it’s the fun of making that matters.

Miles Rocket1   Miles Rocket2   Miles Rocket3

Yesterday was his “four and a half-est birthday,” which called for the making of a cake covered in green frosting grass. Make make make. That’s all we do around here lately. And I love that. He still talks about last year’s Maker Faire, and we’re pumped to go again this May.

Music: Sweet Honey In The Rock :: Woke Up This Morning With My Mind Stayed On Freedom

Spring New Media Lecture Series

Gearing up for another big week at the J-School, as we compress our semester-long multimedia training program into a single week for mid-career journalists from around the country. As always, lunches and evenings are filled with great speakers, which we’ll be webcasting live. If you’re in the Berkeley area, the conversations are open to the public – come on by!

Featured speakers are Joe Howry, Anthony Plascencia, Colleen Cason, Tom Kisken, Ventura County Star; Lisa Stone, Blog Her; Kevin Sites, Yahoo!; Sean Connelley and Katy Newton, Oakland Tribune; Rob Curley, Washingtonpost. Newsweek Interactive; Matt McAlister, Yahoo!

The Kevin Sites presentation last year was riveting, and Curley is a must-see for anyone interested in pushing old-school media properties in new directions.

Music: Jonathon Edwards :: Sunshine

Sauced

A few blocks from my hotel in Austin, Tears of Joy hot sauce shack – literally hundreds of kinds of jalapeno/habanero-based fluids. Trying to choose a few to take home is nearly impossible – you can taste about a dozen of them in advance, but for the rest, it’s pretty much a matter of judging a sauce by its cover. And there are a lot of tantalizing covers. Ended up having eight flavahs shipped home, and dived in last night.

Hot Sauces

So far orange pulp habanero is the stand-out favorite, pumpkin chipotle running a close second. But hard to argue with good old Cholula. Now the challenge is to get through all eight bottles before next year’s south-by.

Music: Rufus Thomas :: Steal A Little