Category: Out there

Dreamed I caught a ride on a giant pachyderrm. It was white rather than grey, with fine (for a pachyderm) hair just long enough to grab onto. The amazing thing about it was how smooth and fast it could run. We cruised through the Serengheti at what must have been 70mph, and there was hardly a bump in the ride, like that old commercial where they moyle performs a circumcision in the back seat of an El Dorado or whatever. The beast was gigantic – I was 20 feet off the ground sitting on the back of its neck, so the view was spectacular at that speed. It was hot and the air blew through my hair as fast as we ran. There was a winding dirt and sand road that snaked through the desert for miles on end and this was our course. The only hard part was going over walls – the pachy would sort of go sideways-backwards and would shift all over the place – hard to hold on.

The folks at Ahleman have created The ElectriClerk, a 1988 Mac SE driven by a 1927 Underwood typewriter, with a Fresnel lens hovering over the screen for added period effect. I’m thinking Naked Lunch here, or something from Brothers Quay, or Jan Svankmajer (if Svankmajer characters used modded Macs, that is). They even created a prop brochure to go with it. If you’re looking for a DIY project just slightly more feasible, try making your own lava lamp.

Learned tonight that many Tibetans consider eagle vomit a great remedy for poisoning, and had to wonder what one does after accidentally swallowing Himalayan Hemlock… run around trying to trap an eagle and coax it to regurgitate in a cup?

Would not have thought it possible, but there you go: Captain Beefheart’s “Golden Birdies” impeccably rendered in glorious … MIDI!

Who benefits from a war with Iraq?

Pure lust: This dude had a BRAND NEW ’66 Bonneville for sale – as in, brand new – engine’s never even been kicked over. What would you do with a bike like that? Could you NOT turn it over? It seems perverse not to ride it, but impossible to not give it a kick.

Excellent tool for comparing blogging software side-by-side – review up to five weblog tools simultaneously.

In light of recent events, what an unfortunate name for a refreshing drink.

Joni Mitchell has some scathing words – says she’s
‘ashamed’ to be in the music business. I know what she means about her 3-year-old granddaughter grabbing her crotch while dancing – I’ve seen it too, and don’t disagree with her for blaming MTV.

“The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There’s also a negative side.”
– Hunter S. Thompson

Once again, thanks to Phil Franks for being my surrogate eyeballs.

This story in the Seattle Times snagged my attention not just for the incredible journalistic blunder it involves, but because I grew up in Morro Bay.

It read in part: "On Oct. 18, 1857, the first Filipinos landed on the shores of Morro Bay, California, on a Spanish galleon called the Nuestra Senora de Buena Esperanza, which translates to ‘The Big Ass Spanish Boat.’ " The correct translation is “Our Lady of Good Hope.”

Heads will roll.

Seen the libertarian candidate who turned himself blue? According to CNN, “Stan Jones,a 63-year-old business consultant and part-time college instructor, said he started taking colloidal silver in 1999 for fear that Y2K disruptions might lead to a shortage of antibiotics.” And that, my friends, is what too much doomsday / conspiracy thinking will get you.

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Scratching my head, I turn to these amazing existentialist animations for solace, and find none. Perhaps answers are buried in this real-time WebCollage.

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It appears the web is becoming more clairvoyant – this site can accurately guess pert near any dictator or sitcom character you can think of by playing 20 questions with you. 10 Qs to guess that I was Maya from Just Shoot Me. Niles Crane from Frasier was much harder – about 25 Qs, with some absurd detours. The power of public/collaborative database building coupled with a slick AI engine — this is how Amazon et al can “recommend 10 other books you might like” and amaze you with how well it “knows” you — same basic principle.

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Think surveillance might be getting a bit out of hand? As Mike says, “I think this is what people mean when they talk about “slippery slopes”:

“There are now video cameras in the remote part of a national forest for the stated purpose of catching people growing marijuana. There are at least 2,397 surveillance cameras on the streets of Manhattan.”

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Sure Microsoft cares about security! They care so much they’re going to start making you pay for it.

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Very cool bookmarklet for web developers – open this as a URL, then drag the bookmark icon to your toolbar. Now you can toggle CSS on/off for any page, any browser:

javascript:i=0;if(document.styleSheets.length>0){cs=!document.styleSheets[0].disabled;for(i=0;i<document.styleSheets.length;i++)document.styleSheets[i].disabled=cs;};void(cs=true);

So apparently, researchers have unearthed the world’s funniest joke. Found it interesting how people of different nationalities find different kinds of things funny, and that Americans tend to favor humor that makes other people look stupid.

Actually, I’m not sure this one isn’t funnier (but then, I’m a sucker for deliciously bad jokes):

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little,
which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad
breath.

This made him ….what?

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Thanks xian for that – I owe you a groaner.

Found a note folded up, sitting in the ivy, on the way to breakfast the other day. Junior high came rushing back in a flash of memory:

(click)

I love the way the sentence ends w/o question mark, the way an entire sheet of notebook paper is used for four lonely words, the minimal expressiveness of the note, as if it’s a statement of fact rather than a question.

Ack packet via Dylan Tweney: Just how far has the art of magazine covers declined in the past 50 years? This plays like a microcosm of all modern aesthetics – engaged in an ongoing and unstoppable slide from care to crap.

And speaking of MSN, they’re promoting a “New Bread of Secret Agent.”

In Talk like a pirate — or prepare to be boarded, Dave Barry reminds us that this – today! – is Talk Like a Pirate day – and here I’ve let half the day slip away without talking like a pirate, damn. He’s recruiting lots of celebs, but :

I see no need to recruit President Bush, because he already talks like a pirate, as we can see from this transcript of a recent White House press conference:

REPORTER: Could you please explain either your foreign or your domestic policy?

PRESIDENT BUSH: Arrrrr.

Thanks Howard Berkey for pointing out the unsanity of KOMPRESSOR :

We do not use a macintosh
instead we use a tandy
KOMPRESSOR break your glow stick
KOMPRESSOR eat your candy

Now let’s all take a magical journey upon Harry Potter’s vibrating broom.

Cool fog guns!

Read a piece today over lunch about a Yoko Ono exhibit in SF. During installation of the piece, Yoko saw a white phone for the museum guards. She put up a sign over the phone: “Wait for Yoko to call,” making it part of the exhibit. When the show opened, a visitor grabbed the phone when a guard wasn’t looking and called his own cell with it, so the number came up on his display. Now he had the #.
Continue reading “Wait for Yoko To Call”