Category: Family & Home

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The Public/Private School Dilemma

For the past six months, one topic of conversation has dominated over all others at gatherings of our friends with kids in pre-school: “So what are you doing about kindergarten?” Miles is only in his 2nd year of pre-school, and I confess that, until we reached this juncture, I had never given it much thought. I am a product of the California public school system, and had simply taken it as a given that private schools were financially out of reach. And I had assumed that private schools bred a culture of elitism, of which I wanted no part.

But it’s also true that many public schools aren’t what they were 2-3 decades ago. Did I want my child going to a school with no built-in music, arts, or sports? Would independent afternoon programs be adequate substitutes? Do test scores tell you all you need to know about a school, or do the socio-economics of a neighborhood skew scores to the point of being misleading? Are all private schools elitist, or was that just a media-fueled stereotype I had never questioned? Is kindergarten too early even to be asking these questions?

At this point, we’re looking at one public school (not the one we’re assigned to) and one private school (a relatively low-cost cooperative, structured similarly to the co-op pre-school Miles is in now). And I’m amazed to find that I’ve become not only open to, but enthusiastic about the prospect of private school. But much gnashing of teeth still surrounds the question, and we’re not there yet.

Close friends Roger and Paula have been going through similar contortions for months, but have held close to one conviction: The public school system should be great, but it can’t be great if caring parents abandon it. Their final decision to send their daughter to public school is profiled today in the Oakland Tribune.

“I was a complete mess,” Amelia’s mother, Paula Larsen-Moore, recalled. “I was anxious, I wasn’t sleeping, and I’m in a totally different place now.” This month, as she submitted her enrollment card to the district, Larsen-Moore reached the end of a draining ritual in which thousands of Oakland families take part each year.

I know that my parents never went through anything remotely like this. School was school, and you got out of it what you put in. Looking around at people I know and work with, I don’t see a correlation between public/private school attendance and success later in life (though there probably is one, statistically). But I do love the idea that we don’t have to accept the decline of the public school system lying down. It’s something you can fight for, and public school is still something parents can feel good about.

Music: Rickie Lee Jones :: Rorschachs (Theme for the Pope)
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Walkie Tallkies

Miles Walkietalkie Green Miles and I made walkie talkies today. He’s getting way into helping, which means I need to find a way for him to contribute to just about every home project. And he’s been getting curious about the vice in the garage, which led to cutting and hammering and sanding opportunities. Which lead to this pair of dynamite phones.

He signed up for the basic plan, which is fine for starters, and very affordable, though coverage was lousy – 30′ max range before he started breaking up. Can you hear me now?

“Hello, Porridge?” “Miles, who is Porridge?” “Porridge is another name for God.”

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Nothingland

Amy transcribed a conversation with Miles earlier today:

I asked M to go wash his hands. After 5 minutes, I hear the water still running in the bathroom. When I get in there, find that he’s carefully shredded nearly an entire bar of soap by digging into it with his little fingernails. There’s a mound of shredded soap in the sink and no water is going down the drain.

Me: Miles, where do you get all these ideas?

M: From Nothingland

Me: Where’s Nothiingland?

M: It’s just 2 blocks from Legoland.

Me: Do you have to go there to get these ideas?

M: Yes, I go on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays.

Me: Do you go there in reality, or in your imagination?

M: I go there in my imagination. Nothingland is where there is nothing, but if you use your imagination, you will figure out that there really is something there. There’s no one there except for me. If you go to Nothingland, you can get a cake or a coin. If you go to Nothingland, you can go on a Easter egg hunt, and if you use a different imagination, you can get a shower bath. At Nothingland, I can go to Nothingland with our pets Plato and Louise. They don’t get lost in Nothingland, because wherever they go, I go. At Nothingland, Louise and Plato like to get coins and cakes. If you go to Nothingland, you can get a new puzzle, but the new puzzle is only for playing with at Nothingland. If you go to Nothingland, you can get a new cat to go to Nothingland with you, and at Nothingland, it’s okay if somebody else goes to Nothingland with me.

Music: Half man half biscuit :: Four skinny indie kids
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Human Body Store

Miles: If you want a tummy you have to buy one at the human body store.
Me: What else can you get there?
Miles: Noses, ears, hair. Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes!
Me: How much does a tummy cost?
Miles: Ten
Me: Ten what?
Miles: Ten dollars.
Me: How much is a dollar?
Miles: A dollar is ten cents.
Me: What else can you buy with a dollar?
Miles: Toes.
Me: What if you need fingers to go with the toes?
Miles: Fingers are a little bit bigger than toes so fingers cost five cents.
Me: And what else could you do with the money?
Miles: We’ll give it to the animal shelter.
Me: Why do the animals need it?
Miles: Because the animals have nothing to buy.
Me: How much do you think a dog costs?
Miles: Because a dog is big a dog costs… [goes to weigh and measure himself, determines his height by holding a tape measure horizontally across his head]… now my head is bigger than last time!
Me: How big is your head now?
Miles: [Makes a circle with his arms to indicate 2 feet around] … A dog costs forty cents.
Me: What’s bigger – cents or dollars?
Miles: Cents.
Me: What kind of store would you go to if you wanted to buy a tail?
Miles: Daddy, I can make a notebook with my hands – watch! [scribbles in his palm] …

Music: The London Symphony Orchestra & Chambre Choir with Guest Soloists :: Sally Simpson
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Dr. Miles, At Your Service

Amy and Miles decided to play doctor. Amy describes the scene:

Miles set up a doctor’s office in his bedroom yesterday, and I got treated. I thought you might like to hear about his techniques.

The nice thing about this doctor’s office is that you get to sit upon two pillows, so it’s kind of like having a little throne. The doctor first ran a green crayon down my arm and then kind of pushed it in to draw some blood. I got a Barbie band aid for that. At this point, the brilliant doctor already knew what was wrong with me. A bone had broken somewhere in my body, and when it fell off, it made a hole in my heart. He crammed my left hand into a toilet paper tube and then inserted the whole hand into a little plastic oven (from his play dough toys). There was a whooshing sound as more air went into my body. Finally, a small, plastic red thing was kind of plunged in and out of my mouth a few times and I was ready to go.

On my second visit to the doctor, I was diagnosed as having a crammed tummy. This procedure is easy. You just take a magnolia seed pod and crunch it around in the patient’s belly button. This will uncram everything.

While we were playing, I asked Miles if he would like a doctor’s kit for Christmas and then immediately regretted it. What fun is a stethoscope when you can have your hand crammed into a toilet paper tube? Maybe he’ll forget that I brought that up.

Music: Herbie Hancock :: Succotash
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Leprechauns Are Awesome

Me, to Miles: “Did you know that if it rains while the sun is shining it means you’re going to meet a leprechaun?”

Miles: “What’s a leprechaun?”

Me, suddenly realizing I didn’t have a good definition of “leprechaun” ready-at-hand, winging it: “A leprechaun is a little man about two feet high who wears green clothes and funny shoes and who dances and plays tricks and tells funny jokes.”

[… Long silence, then…]

Miles: “That’s awesome.”

[… Another long silence…]

Miles: “No, Daddy – That’s totally awesome!”

Who knew the surfer speak would start at age 4? Where in the world would he pick up a phrase like that? On the preschool playground no doubt. But he’s right about leprechauns – I just hadn’t thought of them that way in a very long time.

Music: Peter Brotzmann :: Everything
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Fairyland

Fairlyand-Feller Spent Saturday with Miles at Oakland’s Fairyland, a 1950s outdoor park where children’s literature is “brought to life” through fiberglass and concrete exhibits, animals, and talking story books. Sounds wonderful – and it is – but the place is also 55 years old. While it’s been relatively well maintained, many of the exhibits are falling apart at the seams, and the talking books are barely audible, scratchy old inventions.

It’s not as if no one looks after the place – there are signs of renovation all over. But it’s not particularly well-funded, and there are a lot of custom-made moving parts to keep track of and a whole lot of concrete to keep painted. Through the cruftiness, a warm magic shines, and kids don’t notice the disrepair like grownups do. My experience there is always something like one half nostalgia, one half campy bliss, one half sadness to see a fading glory struggling to keep on a good face. But we always have a good time.

Have been itching to give SoundSlides a go – the fastest path to a Flash-based slideshow with synchronized audio I’ve seen. An amazing tool (even more amazing if you’ve struggled to build similar output in Flash before). Just used music for the backing here, so didn’t have reason to try the synchronization features, and didn’t do any image captioning, but the elegance of the tool is impressive.

Fairlyland slideshow

Music: The Residents :: Angry Angakok
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Children of a Greater God?

Mileshugsscarlett Weird misappropriation. A well-intentioned man with a big heart, but who is also a pretty radical Christian opposed to single-sex marriage, “borrowed” one of Amy’s images from Flickr (Miles hugging his cousin Scarlett) and posted it to his own site, with some vague message about how we can’t enter the kingdom of god without having the innocence and love of a child. Unlike most image borrowers, the guy actually wrote Amy to let her know he was using the image, and he gave her credit on his blog.

So one hand it’s cool that he gave credit. On the other hand, his approach of borrowing first and asking later isn’t cool in Amy’s book, and we’re both angered by the fact that Miles’ image is now associated with a site that stands in staunch defiance of basic human rights.

Obviously, I’ve got a more open attitude toward sharing and re-mixing of content on the open net, but I also get chills thinking about Miles’ image being associated with hateful views. Amy’s going to be asking him to take it down. Will be interesting to see how he responds.

Music: Herbie Hancock :: Maiden Voyage
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Kayak Adventure

Kayak Berkeley Miles and I lucked out today and discovered that the Cal Outdoor Club at the Berkeley Marina had public kayak rentals for the last day of the season. Absolutely perfect weather. Thought he’d get bored, but he was way into it. Spent an hour paddling around the Marina and ventured into SF Bay, then went under a long pier where we got to watch a 3-ft. leopard shark get pulled out of the water right in front of us by a fisherman up on the pier above. Wonderful vantage point to witness nature struggling with man.

After an hour, I asked, “Miles, should we go back to the dock or should I keep paddling?” Miles answered “I’m going to lay down on my back [and he did, gazing up at the sky]. Everything I see in the whole world is blue! You keep paddling, daddy.”

Miles Boathead Afterwards we went to the Adventure Playground, across the street – a park that the kids themselves get to build and paint – all scrap wood and old pianos and boats and bicycle parts, etc. If you’ve never seen a two year old wielding a hacksaw, you ain’t lived. More on adventure playgrounds.

Miles Skronkpiano Check Miles throwing down some way out skronk jazz, doing the Cecil Taylor thing on an abandoned piano. The sign reads “Do not hammer, stand, or paint on the piano!” (other pianos there are hammerable and paintable). Forgot to set the white balance on the camera so these came out all blue. Did my best to correct them, but they’re a bit noisy now. At home he was gazing out the living room window as the sun went down. “Already? I don’t want this day to end!”

Music: Kid Koala :: Nerdball
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Knight Project

Attilla Came home to one of Miles’ excellent “projects” tonight. His description:

“The ghost took the princess’ hat and then she waked up in the morning and she was going to feed her cat but she had no cat because the ghost took it and he took it to a blue mountain and then all the knights hurried to the mountain and then they climbed up it and this knight stabbed the ghost and then one of the ghosts put the kitty in his hat and the kitty had arrived in his hat to the princess’ home and then they all had a celebration for saving her cat.”

Flickr set

Music: The Pastels :: Attic Plan