As Joel Stein neatly summarizes at Time.com,
“There are just two things about the World Cup that prevent Americans from caring: it involves soccer and the rest of the world. We could get over the soccer part eventually — after all, it’s kind of like the soccer we make our suburban children play, only without the goal scoring. But the global part just isn’t going to happen. When I hear that Tunisia is playing Belgium for the crucial Group H runner-up spot, all I want is a map. The only way Americans are going to learn another country’s name is if it attacks us.”