Sonic Gopher War

Two weeks after installing lawn, it’s being sabotaged by gophers. Little piles and big holes dotted all over the place. Looks like I’ve blanketed over a serious warren. Caddyshack seems a bit less funny than it once did. Brother John said his sonic gopher stake did the trick, so we got one. 18″ long stake with 4 “C” batteries, emits an annoying high-pitched buzz into the earth every 28 seconds, lasts six months. Earth is denser than air, so signal should travel well (claims 6000 sq. feet coverage). Can be inserted so cap is flush with soil, for easy mow-over. Put your ear to the earth and you can actually hear it, though faintly. Allegedly the gophers will be curious about it for first 2-3 weeks, and hole activity may increase. Then they’ll realize the annoying neighbor is here to stay, and clear out. We’ll see. Better than dredging corpses out of the lawn. Another friend reported success attaching a hose to exhaust pipe and gassing them out. Would rather not resort to such dramatics, but listen up, gophers: we will prevail!

Music: Elliott Smith :: Alameda

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