The Cruel Shoes

Old Shoes Farewell, awesome old shoes. You may well be the best friends my feet ever had, but all that hiking and scrambling and geocaching has taken it’s toll. I can’t stand to see you go, but you’re blown out, frayed, fried, bedraggled and besmirched, and pebbles are starting to get in through your sides. Guess I’ll keep you around for lawn mowing or something. You’re way too noble for the trash. Hey there, new kicks! I promise to learn to love you, despite the fact that you make my feet look like they’re bent inwards at an impossible angle, reminiscent of the stars of Steve Martin’s seminal short story The Cruel Shoes:

New Shoes Carlo disappeared into the back room for a moment, then returned with an ordinary shoebox. He opened the lid and removed a hideous pair of black and white pumps. But these were not an ordinary pair of black and white pumps; both were left feet, one had a right angle turn with separate compartments that pointed the toes in impossible directions. The other shoe was six inches long and was curved inward like a rocking chair with a vise and razor blades to hold the foot in place. Carlo spoke hesitantly, “…Now you see why…they’re not fit for humans…”

Music: Zero 7 :: Salt Water Sound

One Reply to “The Cruel Shoes”

  1. I’m the same way about “retiring” shoes. My old shoes just never find their way into the trash. They are relegated to less glamorous tasks like yard work or actually taking out the rubbish (not with them in it though). Shoes like that never get enough credit for the mileage we put on them.
    Such an ungrateful existence. Anyway, think about the people who still saved the shoes they wore shortly after being born. Maybe that’s why this attitude about used up shoes is so ingrained in us!

    My 2 Cents

    George

    [George’s spammy URL removed from this comment. -ed]

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