How To Destroy the Earth

Hell-bent on destroying the earth? We’re not talking about erasing humanity here, but gen-u-ine vaporization of all earth particles. There are ways.

The Earth was built to last. It is a 4,550,000,000-year-old, 5,973,600,000,000,000,000,000-tonne ball of iron. It has taken more devastating asteroid hits in its lifetime than you’ve had hot dinners, and lo, it still orbits merrily. So my first piece of advice to you, dear would-be Earth-destroyer, is: do NOT think this will be easy.

Scientific summaries are offered on the feasibility of techniques such as harnessing the untapped power of the vacuum, throwing chunks of earth into space via space elevators, consumption by an army of von Neumann machines, and other awe-inspiring technologies. Some methods require no more equipment than a simple light bulb — others require elaborate constructions: “You will need: a big heavy rock, something with a bit of a swing to it… perhaps Mars.”

The most promising method? Near-infinite patience.

via Strata Lucida

Music: Beachwood Sparks :: Old Manatee

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