Secret Agent Tools

Spent a couple days with a stomach bug while in Minnesota. Miles (3.5 yrs) was concerned, and tended to my spirits one day by bringing me a series of Lego assemblages, which he called “secret agent tools” (he alternately referred to them as “old fashioned”). He’d disappear for five minutes, come trundling back upstairs with a new one, lay some terminology on me, and vanish again. Had a laptop with me in bed, so took notes, which I’ve left unedited here.

secret agent tool – shoots orange juice and pancake syrup and apple juice and clouds. when it shoots out clouds that brings dinosaurs back to the world. And the secret agent tool makes a sound like “Mooooo.”

crab claw – bites a crab and then the farmer fire axes the crab – the farmer shoots the crab with a fire axe and then people can eat the crab for dinner.

“I’m going to make three more toys for you because I’m nervous that my daddy is sick because he’s my special friend, so I’m going to make three more and then that’s all” (he made a total of eight more).

The second toy was called “iceberg tabasky headphones” and it m n nn nb

The third toy was a “Vizerator” or “paper cleaner” and you put paper in a hole and people made new paper

the fourthest toy – shooted out fire and then people could cut down old trees. You can also hold this one.

the fivest toy: shoots out canonballs – “The Sockador” – for cutting down old trees and the swords will come back to life and people can hold them. You can hold this one.

The next one is an evaporator — it cleans up the old garbage and old pieces of paper and the fire dragons come back to life.

this one is “evaporator 2” and it cleans paper AND keyboards.

a keyboard typer big tragasky panpot aggregator – it spurts some goo from here and it cleans out people from here and then the dinosaurs live in the futures.

then he stuck a tire in my eye and said “you get these rings for being so helpful today.”

4 Replies to “Secret Agent Tools”

  1. Have you considered cloning? With the proper marketing, I think every family in America will be wanting a Miles of My Own (TM). It practically sells itself!

  2. Wow!!! This virtual maelstrom of Jungian/Freudian Id wishes is an even better peek into Miles psyche than his Native American-esque universe creation / “water cycle” theory. I notice a not-so-subtle subtext of regeneration and rebirth in these “tools.” Oh, and swords. And dragony creatures. And cleaning up shit.

    I also like the super ceremonious way you were “allowed” to hold some of the tools.

    And why is Miles so concerned with **de**populating the world’s forests, I wonder? Especially after his reaction to “The Lorax”?!

    I SO appreciate each and every one of the Miles posts. More videos, please!

  3. Re: de-population of forests: I think he’s just at that age of realizing that some tools destroy (guns, swords, fires, poison, propaganda) (OK, maybe not the last one). Combined with boy genes, it’s a potent meme around the house these days. But none of it seems negative; in a weird way, it’s all joyful, never with a mean spirit. “Daddy, I’m going to bang you with this cannon ball,” he says gleefully.

    Yes, I know I need to do some more videos. Want to do a compendium of his song excerpts.

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